this or better

Growing up, my dad instilled in me a belief that "everybody loves me." This was a generational belief. He said his mom always told him this and still does. I believe this helped me with confidence in my life. It didn't hit me till adulthood that a possibility existed that not "everyone" loves me. Again, that didn't change much, as the belief is deeply instilled.

I share this not to thank my dad and grandma for such a cool belief but to suggest others that may serve you. I have come to know that "what others think of me is none of my business," as the greats have said.

The following are positive empowering beliefs to adopt. Pick one to try on this week.

1) Something good will happen today. Even writing this I can feel a sparkle in my eye. What a concept. Something good! I am a bit of an optimist and love surprises and scratch offs. I am by no means advocating a lottery habit, but what I am suggesting in that same wonderment of, am I going to win, you can bring into your day. What good will I experience today, I wonder?

2) What is the opportunity in this? If you were to zoom way out of your life, the even shittiest moments are filled with an opportunity. If you are now suffering in something and it's too painful to use that as your example and too hard to see the silver lining, picks something else. Think back. For me, my darkest years were wrapped in anxiety, depressed, over drinking and eating, exercise addiction, when I zoom out I can see that those experiences allowed me the freedom to experience life in the healthier way that I do now and opened the door for a decade + of new friendships, growth opportunities and learning. If you give me the challenging experience, I could give you at least 5 opportunities that could come that would blow your socks off.

3) This of better. I love saying this. When the bummer let down moments happen, in an instant I can repeat to myself, this or better. Recently, I wasn't selected for an opportunity to be a part of a pitch competition. My fiance was bummed for me, I knew, this or better. There was an exact reason why those exact days I wasn't to be in New York and it opened up the door for wonder for me to find myself there weeks later.

Life is happening for you, do you choose to believe that? Happy believing this week.

thoughts, feelings & freedom

I was first introduced to emotions and feelings, oh I don't know, during an emotional moment early on in my life. I first became aware of my emotions, probably in an, oh I don't know, meltdown kind of moment within the past decade. That awareness became the beginning of what can feel like freedom. I started learning what information is actually available in my emotions and how this can be a powerful asset in self awareness. I started understanding how feeling my feelings leads to freedom and understanding. It may sound simple, you may feel like you got this down, but I urge you to check in around your emotions and feelings this week and what information is there for you.

In the book Letting Go by the late David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. he shares a variation of his Map of Consciousness which is a detailed scale of emotions. I was reminded of this Map of Consciousness in a Wayne Dyer lecture. Wayne shares tips on how to go from a bad thought to a good thought. He says, picture something bad or sad like a dog getting hit by a car, now picture something happy like a child playing with something for the first time. It's that simple, going from a disempowering thought to an empowering one. They key is realizing you are in the disempowering, with time to make the shift. Remember, it is never too late and it starts with awareness. You can do better next time.

As they say, you can't get to where you are going unless you know where you are. You can do this moment to moment. I remember, years ago, the first time I was consciously aware of being angry. I laughed, "I am angry." I was so happy because I never felt anger.

Can you move from disempowering thoughts, feelings and emotions to empowering thoughts, feelings and emotions? And how quickly? Techniques that help with this are awareness, mindfulness, meditation and connecting to your breath. Find what works for you and keep with it. As you are able to do this in real time, connecting with the present moment and the best possible experience you can have in that moment leads to massive amounts of freedom. An easy questions to ask, is this how I want to feel right now?

the most powerful question ever


What is on your mind? Is there a burning desire, a goal, something you've been wanting to do or achieve that you haven't yet committed to or done?

What is holding you back from that?

The recurring message I have been receiving this week is a Nike slogan, "Just do it." But the extended version, “Just do it, and why?”

Are you connected to your "why," on a big level? And then can you break that down for some smaller goals, desires and day to day happenings?

Life can get habitual and routine if you haven’t noticed. There is nothing particularly wrong with that. I can hear my dad now, “Same job, same house, same wife, same kids.” Followed by his deep belly laugh. Without intentionality and purpose, the routine and habits can creep up to get the best of you, in that soul sucking, time passing kind of why.

The other side of this, is when you infuse habits and routine with aligned “why’s” all the sudden it flows in ways it maybe hasn’t in years. This is because on a soul level, perhaps what you were craving to begin with.

So the formula: Why + Desire/Goal?

For example:

(the big one) Why am I alive? I am here on this beautiful earth, starting back in 1987 to grow and share joy with others and help those around me to feel connected to their life purpose and to live that out daily.

Why do I want to run a thriving business? I want to impact my clients and the world through coaching that will cause the ripple effect of up leveling on our planet, I want to grow and share my gifts so others are inspired to do the same. I want to create and flow in life through business. I want to experience financial freedom that allows for living a life I couldn't even dream of.

Why do I want a passion and love filled marriage? I want to share my life with my partner and grow with him. I want to feel blessed and cherish and share that feeling with him. I want a best friend and lover to grow with and see the world. I want to have a harmonious household that we are both enjoying and happy to call home. I want to support him in his goals and receive that same support.

Why do I want to walk lilyrose (dog love of my life)? So she is healthy and happy and gets to enjoy nature with momma, to get some exercise, to have a moment to pause. To see the neighborhood. To smile when she chases a lizard or sees another dog and is so happy which reminds me how easy and simple life and happiness really are.

Those are a few of my relevant life goals/desires/activities and my why's.

Set some time this week to look at what you are calling into your life and ask yourself the deep yet simple question, Why? The answers you get could propel you into life changing inspired action to take the next steps in creating and living the life you are meant to!

Happy asking. May your why's and purpose be filled with expansion, wholeness, unity, hope compassion and love xx

Ps: if you are feeling the flow check out this Life Area Assessment to help you take your inspired actions as we come into year end!

trusting in life

Today my tire blew out...or I blew out my tire. I pulled over and thought "now I am late for a meeting." I called my meeting person and told her what happened. Calmly, my next thought "hm this sucks but it doesn't need to be a day deal breaker." With back-to-back meetings I was worried I'd be late to the next one. Next thing I know my friend from the first meeting and I are drinking coffee on the side of the road while we wait for AAA. They were there in minutes, and we were able to go to our original meeting place to spend the rest of our time together. I made it to the next meeting on time. The point isn't the details, but rather the simple breath and pause and acknowledgment that everything is working out, and me believing that and trusting in the moments to come to unfold in that way.

Can you trust that you are always supported, even when "nothing" makes sense. When the feelings of burnout, or tough relationship moments are challenging? When nothing is going "my way", what about then?

Yes even then you are supported.

What if every little thing in your life was a part of divine orchestration. Every heartache, every rejection, every bump in the road. What if it's all to make you more refined in who you are and to tap deeper into your essence.

If you knew this, would it change the way you showed up and experienced those less than desirable moments? Would it change the way you process in your life, could you be more laid back, less attached to the outcomes that you want? Could you feel more free. Could you insert a deep breath?

Behind most desires are a certain feeling(s). And the nice thing about feelings are they are available to you in every moment. Sometimes through programming and processing we are in the regular habitual responses. But if in these experiences, the bad news, the tire popping, could you slow down, recognize the perfectness of life and tap into how you want to feel?

Worth the feeling experiment?

Life is full of surprises and sometimes the shitty ones can be the best ones.